“Even though I am a free man with no master, I have become a slave to all people to bring many to Christ. When I was with the Jews, I lived like a Jew to bring the Jews to Christ. When I was with those who follow the Jewish law, I too lived under that law. Even though I am not subject to the law, I did this so I could bring to Christ those who are under the law. When I am with the Gentiles who do not follow the Jewish law, I too live apart from that law so I can bring them to Christ. But I do not ignore the law of God; I obey the law of Christ. When I am with those who are weak, I share their weakness, for I want to bring the weak to Christ. Yes, I try to find common ground with everyone, doing everything I can to save some. I do everything to spread the Good News and share in its blessings.”
-1 Corinthians 9:19-23 NLT
“For many are invited, but few are chosen.” – Matthew 22:14 NIV
It is not that God only calls or “chooses” some. It is our choice whether or not to answer the phone.
It started around my freshman year. The first taste of the “cool” life– all too fun to stop. At first, it was wearing shorter clothes, then sneaking out, and so forth until trouble could have been my legal middle name.
The start of a wake-up call
Homecoming of 2016 when a boyfriend and I broke up I decided numbness was the best option. After being kicked out of the Homecoming group with all of my so-called “friends” my head started spinning. I thought my life was over without this boy (teenage dramatics). Once my mom informed me that her boyfriend who is an ex-cop started abusing her I unquestionably started acting out at home. Aside from the fact that I was still hanging out with the “cool” crowd, my mind was beyond fogged with bad decisions.
More poor choices
My mom had always been a “do as I say not as I do” person, so when she started drinking a lot in front of me again I began using it against her. My mom has always had a drinking problem but this time it seemed really bad, although I may not have been as aware as a child. It came to the point where I would tell her “get out of my room you’re not even going to remember this in the morning” (which was not right of me).
Depression at its worst
With all the things I was battling I started to get depressed easily and doing things I should not have been doing to my body. The demons continued to consume my soul and mind. I once got to the point of attempting suicide. One night, as I was on my way to drive my car off a bridge, (as depressing but true that is) I passed the church my grandparents go to. Deciding to stop there instead, not knowing what I was exactly expecting. Being as it was night-time and closed of course I was surprised to see there was actually one lady still there. This woman was not any stranger though because I used to go to the Christian school across the street with her son. After a good talk and a long cry, she was the saving that night I knew in my heart I needed. Still down and out about my mom, I could not control myself from still talking senseless. One day after school my mom looked at me and said “Calista this is the devil talking stop letting him control you” and it pierced my heart like a ringing in my ears. After hearing those words I knew it was time to turn things around.
Filled with The Spirit
I started going to church because after asking my mom informed me I was never baptized. After the bewilderment of the news, I immediately went the next Sunday and got baptized. Things with my mom continued to worsen and I realized moving to my dad’s (who I had never had a relationship before with) was the best solution. After a month of being in Iowa with my dad, my mom promised me the moon and stars if I “just came home.” When I got back to Florida I chose to live with my Pentecostal grandparents and attended church with them. After a few visits to their church, I had the strongest tug from God to go down to the altar. After several minutes of trying to ignore the urge, I walked down. Confusion and fright was written all over my face, but then moments later I was filled with the Holy Ghost or Holy Spirit.
Second Enlightenment or Call
When living with my grandparents became too difficult, I had no other option but to start bouncing from friend to friends house. I stayed with about 3-4 people for a month or two and sadly fell into complete “party mode.” Once I was in “party mode” I, of course, did not want to get out of it– being as I have an addictive personality. Once Spring break rolled around I had my second spiritual enlightenment. (I do not care what anyone says if someone calls them self a demon well by God they are one.) After leaving a party with my group of “friends” one of them put their hands on my shoulders and said “Calista as you know I’m a demon and it’s time for me to possess you” and that shook my faith–words I will never forget. I then realized “no I do not hang out with demons or people who worship demons” getting away from that group was best.
My final poor decision days
While I was staying with my last friend we were going to get an apartment together. I enrolled at the community college for summer classes and was ready to move in. When things failed she decided it was not for the best to get an apartment together after all. Taking everything in all I could think is “where am I supposed to go now.” After many tears and angry thoughts, I came to my senses to the best of my ability. I called my aunt (not blood, as if that matters) and asked them if I could stay with them, and they made me my own room in Andalusia, Alabama. Being in the country made me realize how much I truly missed my country roots. Acknowledging that learning Lil Uzi Vert lyrics were bringing me nowhere but down and filling my head with trash.
My heart brought home
While staying with my three little cousins every so often I noticed what kind of path they were going down. I only had recognized their path as a sense of patter because I too had been there. Those babies inspired me to know kids are my calling and truly always had been.
I know I have to live this change to the fullest because it means nothing if all you do is preach but do not live it. I started living the path towards Jesus little by little until it becomes easier and more exciting to show not only my precious cousins (my whole heart) but everyone. This world is going in such a bad direction and God is the only one who is a solid escape.
I’m not gonna lie it’s hard at first because in Luke 22:31 “And the Lord said, Simon, Simon, behold, Satan hath desired to have you, that he may sift you as wheat:” was what I was truly living for a while. The devil was mad I wanted to bring people closer to God. As time went on I found strength in God, Jesus, & The Holy Spirit. I was tuned in to more and more of my path that I’m now on– the one I’m supposed to be on, and I was also shown where I would be if I went back down the devil’s path again.
I really hope you never find yourself as low as I had to find myself to bring you back up. Just ask Jesus and the Holy Spirit to give you strength and take these burdens away from you. Get out there and find your calling and do it to the fullest but do not forget to refuel yourself with the Gospel and church when you start dishing it out because it is definitely can be draining. Doing good for people who you may not feel even deserve it can be difficult, but they do– “The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.” Do not ignore the Holy Spirit because that’s where the devil will take control of your mind. It may not be the “cool” way but it is the BEST way take it from me.
–All I ask is that you pray for my walk with Christ and for my mom to help her spirit get back right. She really is an amazing person away from the bottle.
God is telling me there is a wonderful path and plans out there for y’all as soon as y’all want to jump on board. I’ve been baptized 4x now and could not be any happier with my decision to grow. I love the feeling of accepting Lord Christ as my savior and hope y’all can too. Keep your faith it is an amazing gift, and continue to blossom:-) Let the Bible be your truth, let The Holy Spirit be your guide, and let the name of Jesus give you power over the darkness. He will speak to you as if he is right there and in your thoughts… ☮️💛☀️😊